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                         July 19, 2002

Which is the real whopper, the burger or the buyout?

Commentary by Irene Brown
Editor

Rumors.

Once they start, there’s no stopping them.

It’s like the old game I used to play as a kid called "pass it on." One person would start by whispering something to the person next to them. That person would then pass it on to the next person and so on and so forth.

When the last person was given the information, he or she would then say it aloud to everyone. And guess what happened? Each time someone passed the information along, it changed a little. By the time it got to the last person, it didn’t bear any resemblance to the original information.

That’s how rumors are. Someone hears something from someone else and passes it on. By the time it reaches someone who really needs the information, it is often distorted and untrue.

Sometimes the initial information is untrue to start with and by the time it reaches everyone, it has turned into a real whopper.

A good example of that last scenario is the recent buyout information that everyone received via email and the Internet. It’s time to put this rumor to rest.

There are currently three kinds of buyouts. Two are real and the third is the whopper.

The following are details of the real buyouts and the "wishful thinking" buyout:

- Buyout number one allows agencies to pay selected employees up to $25,000 to take regular or early retirement. Under this authority, agencies can replace employees who take buyouts.

These are the "shaping buyouts" that allow agencies to redesign their workforce and correct skill imbalances. The Department of Defense, IRS, Department of Veterans Affairs, CIA, National Security Agency and Government Printing Office has such authority.

- Buyout number two stops agencies from "backfilling" those vacancies created by a buyout. The Department of Energy, General Accounting Office, National Aeronautics and Space Administration and U.S. Agency for International Development has this authority.

- Buyout number three is a hoax, but it sounds so good that many employees still believe it is real. I was guilty of this type of gullibility myself and actually ran the report as a news brief in the paper.

According to fake "news reports," that look so good they actually help make the plan appear real, Congress is considering giving workers under the old Civil Service Retirement System extra service credit and a large sum of money.

Depending on which hoax you receive, the amount of the buyout could be anywhere from a year’s salary to $75,000. This information is totally false yet it continues to make the rounds. Congress is not considering this or any other enhanced retirement plan.

If you get this email, or someone forwards you a "news story" about a really great buyout plan do yourself -- and everyone else you know -- a favor. Immediately press the "delete" button.

The only time anyone should get a whopper like that one is lunchtime at Burger King.